"And we've got a toaster and everything. So there is no reason for the wedding."
"The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue. It's a choice you make - not just on your wedding day, but over and over again - and that choice is reflected in the way you treat your husband or wife."Karl Pilkington on Barbara de Angelis
"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy if not, you'll become a philosopher."Karl Pilkington on Socrates
"It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married."Karl Pilkington on Robert Frost
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."Karl Pilkington on Groucho Marx
"Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness."Karl Pilkington on Oliver Wendell Holmes
"To be honest, marriage doesn't scare me and that, it's just once you've been together for so long, if you haven't got any kids it's just a big expensive day out for everyone else to enjoy, isn't it?"
"I'd say the best is when I was in Africa, I saw a hippo in a house. Someone had a pet hippo. And they're meant to be one of the most dangerous animals on the planet, and they had one that was sort of just wandering in and out of their house, just sort of roaming about."
"To me, a cat is an easy pet, they don't need any spoiling or looking after."