"As American as an apple is and as American as baseball is, they don't go together. You can't be chewing an apple at a baseball game. You've got to let go of the diet that day."
"I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond."Kevin James on Mae West
"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."Kevin James on Jim Davis
"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."Kevin James on Orson Welles
"No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated with any other means."Kevin James on Maimonides
"Adopting a new healthier lifestyle can involve changing diet to include more fresh fruit and vegetables as well as increasing levels of exercise."Kevin James on Linford Christie
"It's always cool to meet people who can do things that you have no capacity to do."
"There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap."
"For some reason and I don't know why, but I don't think that I'm funny in California. So I always want to do my movies east somewhere."
"Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants."
"Teachers have a chance to mold someone, inspire them. I hope all teachers realize that."