"For some reason and I don't know why, but I don't think that I'm funny in California. So I always want to do my movies east somewhere."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."Kevin James on Lana Turner
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."Kevin James on Ron White
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."Kevin James on Bill Cosby
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."Kevin James on Jim Carrey
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."Kevin James on Elbert Hubbard
"It's always cool to meet people who can do things that you have no capacity to do."
"As American as an apple is and as American as baseball is, they don't go together. You can't be chewing an apple at a baseball game. You've got to let go of the diet that day."
"There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap."
"Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants."
"Teachers have a chance to mold someone, inspire them. I hope all teachers realize that."