"A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen."
"Be thankful for what you have you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough."Kin Hubbard on Oprah Winfrey
"I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land."Kin Hubbard on Jon Stewart
"The thankful receiver bears a plentiful harvest."Kin Hubbard on William Blake
"Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received. Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling. Thanksgiving is the following of that impulse."Kin Hubbard on Henry Van Dyke
"Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence."Kin Hubbard on Erma Bombeck
"No woman can be handsome by the force of features alone, any more that she can be witty by only the help of speech."
"We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate."
"Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best."
"Don't knock the weather nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while."
"There is no failure except in no longer trying. There is no defeat except from within, no really insurmountable barrier save our own inherent weakness of purpose."