"I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."Larry David on Lana Turner
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."Larry David on Ron White
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."Larry David on Bill Cosby
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."Larry David on Jim Carrey
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."Larry David on Elbert Hubbard
"I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.'"
"The only change I can really see is that I don't have to shop for pants in stores anymore."
"Obviously comedic styles do change."
"Sometimes I have these fantasies of just moving to a foreign country and coming back with a full head of hair. Or not even come back! Make a new life there with hair... Change my name, just see what happens."
"The lunch in a normal American restaurant is very problematic for me. I don't like to have hot food for lunch."