"Communism is like one big phone company."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."Lenny Bruce on Lana Turner
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."Lenny Bruce on Ron White
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."Lenny Bruce on Bill Cosby
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."Lenny Bruce on Jim Carrey
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."Lenny Bruce on Elbert Hubbard
"The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - they'll take you away, man. You can't."
"When you're eight years old nothing is your business."
"Miami Beach is where neon goes to die."
"Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God."
"There are never enough I Love You's."