"It's absolutely stupid that we live without an ozone layer. We have men, we've got rockets, we've got saran wrap - fix it!"
"It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men."Lewis Black on Frederick Douglass
"I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman."Lewis Black on Anais Nin
"Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance."Lewis Black on Oscar Wilde
"Without feelings of respect, what is there to distinguish men from beasts?"Lewis Black on Confucius
"Man becomes great exactly in the degree in which he works for the welfare of his fellow-men."Lewis Black on Mahatma Gandhi
"A father and two sons run Adelphia. It's a cable company. And they took from that company a billion dollars. A billion. Three people - three people took a billion dollars. What were they gonna do, start their own space program? 'Let's send the monkey to Mars, Dad!'"
"All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911."
"There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice."
"If you're working out in front of a mirror and watching your muscles grow, your ego has reached a point where it is now eating itself. That's why I believe there should be a psychiatrist at every health club, so that when they see you doing this, they will take you away for a little chat."
"And I know this happens because I took economics, and I'd explain it to ya, but I flunked that course. Not my fault. They taught it at 8 o'clock in the morning. And there is absolutely nothing you can learn out of one bloodshot eye."