"When two kids are being completely berserk, and they're naked and throwing food around, sometimes I just let it go because I can see a future where they're going to be dressed, and they're going to be at school. So I kind of let stuff go sometimes."
"I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying, dead."Louis C. K. on Oscar Wilde
"You can tell alot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans."Louis C. K. on Ronald Reagan
"It's difficult to believe that people are still starving in this country because food isn't available."Louis C. K. on Ronald Reagan
"You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six."Louis C. K. on Yogi Berra
"Beware the hobby that eats."Louis C. K. on Benjamin Franklin
"It's kind of awkward to eat alone in a restaurant because everybody's looking at me."
"To me, art supplies are always okay to buy."
"I have a crazy amount of different jobs, so the way I manage that is to not do more than one at a time. It's like old computers that had small memory chips, they would do something called swapping, where they would fill the memory with one task, do it and get it out."
"When I was first divorced, I started dating younger women, and it was really exciting. But after a while I was like, 'This is just dumb.'"
"I've learned from experience that if you work harder at it, and apply more energy and time to it, and more consistency, you get a better result. It comes from the work."