"I haven't got a car or a house. I've got a wife, but I didn't pay for her! I spend all my money on my glorious wife. She's here with a knife at my throat!"
"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 MPG."Mackenzie Crook on Bill Gates
"There was a time in my life when I thought I had everything - millions of dollars, mansions, cars, nice clothes, beautiful women, and every other materialistic thing you can imagine. Now I struggle for peace."Mackenzie Crook on Richard Pryor
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."Mackenzie Crook on Erma Bombeck
"I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone."Mackenzie Crook on Steven Wright
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."Mackenzie Crook on Steven Wright
"I like the outdoors and the natural world. Environmental issues."