"My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?"
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."Margaret Smith on Lana Turner
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."Margaret Smith on Ron White
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."Margaret Smith on Bill Cosby
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."Margaret Smith on Jim Carrey
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."Margaret Smith on Elbert Hubbard
"I can't get a relationship to last longer than it takes to make copies of their tapes."