"Golf is a good walk spoiled."
"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."Mark Twain on Michael Jordan
"It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling."Mark Twain on Mark Twain
"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."Mark Twain on Hunter S. Thompson
"Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after."Mark Twain on Henry David Thoreau
"It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up."Mark Twain on Muhammad Ali
"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."
"Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been."
"Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen."
"Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured."
"When angry, count to four when very angry, swear."