"Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation."
"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."Mark Twain on Mignon McLaughlin
"By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."Mark Twain on Socrates
"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages."Mark Twain on Friedrich Nietzsche
"How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being."Mark Twain on Oscar Wilde
"Don't marry the person you think you can live with marry only the individual you think you can't live without."Mark Twain on James C. Dobson
"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."
"Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been."
"Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen."
"Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured."
"When angry, count to four when very angry, swear."