"Comedy clubs can be brutal. Those people are for real, and if you aren't funny, they aren't laughing. They don't care who you are."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."Marlon Wayans on Lana Turner
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."Marlon Wayans on Ron White
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."Marlon Wayans on Bill Cosby
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."Marlon Wayans on Jim Carrey
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."Marlon Wayans on Elbert Hubbard
"Let me tell you, Barack Obama is the most down dude in the world, but he's so smart so articulate, such an amazing speaker such a passionate man. He's humble."
"I'm the most inappropriate dad. I curse in front of my kids and their friends. I let my kids watch R-rated movies. I'll walk by the movie theater and say, 'Let's go see that,' and my kids will say, 'No, it's rated R. It's not appropriate for kids.' I'm like Uncle Dad. We have fun. I don't live with them, but I drive over four days a week."
"If you could cross a lion and a monkey, that's what I'd be, because monkeys are funny and lions are strong."
"I'm good at coming up with wacky characters and funny dialogue."
"Gotta stay in the gym, stay funny, stay sharp. I just love working."