"Everything seems fine until you're about 40. Then something is definitely beginning to go wrong. And you look in the mirror with your old habit of thinking, 'While I accept that everyone grows old and dies, it's a funny thing, but I'm an exception to that rule.'"
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."Martin Amis on Lana Turner
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."Martin Amis on Ron White
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."Martin Amis on Bill Cosby
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."Martin Amis on Jim Carrey
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."Martin Amis on Elbert Hubbard
"People ask me if I ever thought of writing a children's book. I say, 'If I had a serious brain injury I might well write a children's book', but otherwise the idea of being conscious of who you're directing the story to is anathema to me, because, in my view, fiction is freedom and any restraints on that are intolerable."
"The middle class is doing fine in fiction. But it's not what gets me going. I love the working class, and everyone from it I've met, and think they're incredibly witty, inventive - there's a lot of poetry there."
"If God existed, and if He cared for humankind, He would never have given us religion."
"Money doesn't mind if we say it's evil, it goes from strength to strength. It's a fiction, an addiction, and a tacit conspiracy."