"When I'm in the car sometimes it's like, 'Yeah, man, just put on the pop music.' You know what I mean? I don't want to listen to Tom Waits."
"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 MPG."Max Greenfield on Bill Gates
"There was a time in my life when I thought I had everything - millions of dollars, mansions, cars, nice clothes, beautiful women, and every other materialistic thing you can imagine. Now I struggle for peace."Max Greenfield on Richard Pryor
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."Max Greenfield on Erma Bombeck
"I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone."Max Greenfield on Steven Wright
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."Max Greenfield on Steven Wright
"I think the most important foundation about any relationship is just being honest. You've got to. My wife and I are honest to a fault with each other, and we're best friends on top of it, so we're very fortunate."
"There's nothing worse than walking around and talking about your failed relationship, all day, every day, for months on end."
"So when you go to a set and you just fully trust everybody, you know how hard everybody's working, you know that the people doing it are good and have such a strong vision - that's exactly my experience on 'New Girl,' and what my experience on 'Veronica Mars' was like. Everybody was just so great."
"For a girl, the wedding is when you're married. For a guy, it's when you get engaged. It takes a real aggressive human being to back out between the ring and the wedding."
"I'm Jewish and my wife isn't so right now we're literally decorating a Christmas tree with Jewish stars draped around it."