"If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."Mel Brooks on Lana Turner
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."Mel Brooks on Ron White
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."Mel Brooks on Bill Cosby
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."Mel Brooks on Jim Carrey
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."Mel Brooks on Elbert Hubbard
"I don't believe in this business of being behind, better to be in front."
"Look, I don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you're not alive."
"If Shaw and Einstein couldn't beat death, what chance have I got? Practically none."
"Everything we do in life is based on fear, especially love."
"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die."