"In my experience, it's not just that serious books get a hearing on comedy shows. But serious books get a serious hearing, as well as a funny one, on comedy shows."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."Michael Mandelbaum on Lana Turner
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."Michael Mandelbaum on Ron White
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."Michael Mandelbaum on Bill Cosby
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."Michael Mandelbaum on Jim Carrey
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."Michael Mandelbaum on Elbert Hubbard
"If architecture is, as is sometimes said, music set in concrete, then football and basketball may be said to be creativity embodied in team sports."
"The great thing about baseball is the causality is easy to determine and it always falls on the shoulders of one person. So there is absolute responsibility. That's why baseball is psychologically the cruelest sport and why it really requires psychological resources to play baseball - because you have to learn to live with failure."
"Words matter, especially words defining complicated political arrangements, because they shape perceptions of the events of the past, attitudes toward policies being carried out in the present, and expectations about desirable directions for the future."
"After all, the past is our only real guide to the future, and historical analogies are instruments for distilling and organizing the past and converting it to a map by which we can navigate."
"The war on terror, I believe, will be waged by effective intelligence and police work and cruise missiles."