"A car is useless in New York, essential everywhere else. The same with good manners."
"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 MPG."Mignon McLaughlin on Bill Gates
"There was a time in my life when I thought I had everything - millions of dollars, mansions, cars, nice clothes, beautiful women, and every other materialistic thing you can imagine. Now I struggle for peace."Mignon McLaughlin on Richard Pryor
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."Mignon McLaughlin on Erma Bombeck
"I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone."Mignon McLaughlin on Steven Wright
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."Mignon McLaughlin on Steven Wright
"There is always some specific moment when we become aware that our youth is gone but, years after, we know it was much later."
"A woman telling her true age is like a buyer confiding his final price to an Armenian rug dealer."
"It's the most unhappy people who most fear change."
"Courage can't see around corners but goes around them anyway."
"The only courage that matters is the kind that gets you from one moment to the next."