"They don't make you pay for the humor. It's up and down, but they're trying to give you as many laughs as possible in 2 minutes. They are the most honest comedians ever."
"A joke is a very serious thing."Mike Judge on Winston Churchill
"Humor is mankind's greatest blessing."Mike Judge on Mark Twain
"Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing."Mike Judge on William James
"If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide."Mike Judge on Mahatma Gandhi
"A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road."Mike Judge on Henry Ward Beecher
"It's amazing what we can get away with and what we can't. But it's not for me to decide."
"I don't return anybody's calls unless it's going to mean extra money for me. And I've completely cut off all relationships with any friends that I had before the show. And I've copped an attitude."
"Beauty and the Beast seemed like it all was really brown. The whole thing was just so brown and orange and yellow, like Burger King or something. I don't think I would have liked Beauty and the Beast at any age."
"Stealing, you'll go far in life. Actually, there is something funny about getting away with it."
"One thing I was thinking about is that they probably get their come-uppance about the same percentage that people in real life do. Basically, stealing for all practical purposes might as well be legal in New York."