"I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle."
"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."Mitch Hedberg on Lao Tzu
"Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead."Mitch Hedberg on Oscar Wilde
"Friends can help each other. A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself - and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine with them. That's what real love amounts to - letting a person be what he really is."Mitch Hedberg on Jim Morrison
"Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye."Mitch Hedberg on H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
"Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable."Mitch Hedberg on Bruce Lee
"Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!"
"I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake."
"I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit."
"I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming."
"Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?"