"We had two rules growing up in my house: If you're going to take a shower, do it with whomever you're dating so you don't waste water and if you buy one for yourself, buy six, because everybody's going to want one."
"Save a boyfriend for a rainy day - and another, in case it doesn't rain."Moon Unit Zappa on Mae West
"Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things."Moon Unit Zappa on Keanu Reeves
"I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that."Moon Unit Zappa on Mitch Hedberg
"You can't stop loving or wanting to love because when its right it's the best thing in the world. When you're in a relationship and its good, even if nothing else in your life is right, you feel like your whole world is complete."Moon Unit Zappa on Keith Sweat
"Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others."Moon Unit Zappa on Wayne Dyer
"I had a friend whose family had dinner together. The mother would tuck you in at night and make breakfast in the morning. They even had a spare bike for a friend. It just seemed so amazing to me."
"My Dad was so open creatively that I was off in search of black turtleneck bathing suits with long sleeves."
"Your own experience keeps taking you towards something. My book adds the hope that it's a better something."
"If there's anything more mortifying than being famous at 14, it's being washed up right after."
"I think I have a dark view of the world. I have to make everything funny, otherwise it all seems so sad."