"Sports is the only entertainment where, no matter how many times you go back, you never know the ending."
"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."Neil Simon on Michael Jordan
"It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling."Neil Simon on Mark Twain
"Golf is a good walk spoiled."Neil Simon on Mark Twain
"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."Neil Simon on Hunter S. Thompson
"Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after."Neil Simon on Henry David Thoreau
"You must realize that honorary degrees are given generally to people whose SAT scores were too low to get them into schools the regular way. As a matter of fact, it was my SAT scores that led me into my present vocation in life, comedy."
"Money brings some happiness. But after a certain point, it just brings more money."
"Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you can do that, you'll have a happy and wonderful marriage. Like two out of every ten couples."
"Sudden money is going from zero to two hundred dollars a week. The rest doesn't count."