"It's funny, growing up there was never anybody around me with any kind of artistic bent."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."Nick Offerman on Lana Turner
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."Nick Offerman on Ron White
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."Nick Offerman on Bill Cosby
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."Nick Offerman on Jim Carrey
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."Nick Offerman on Elbert Hubbard
"I grew up in a small town in Illinois, and my dad was a basketball coach. Thanks to him, I have excellent fundamentals in both basketball and baseball."
"Meat is a big deal in my life. I do love breakfast food, but I don't think that's extraordinary. I'm a normal American. We love eggs and meat and potatoes and gravy."
"And what we've lost sight of is that performing manual labor with your hands is one of the most incredibly satisfying and positive things you can do."
"If you're an original thinker, you are going get told 'no' a lot, and you have to be able to hear 'no' many times from the bankers and trust that at some point, someone is going to recognize that you are an artist and not a can of soda."