"I don't really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world."
"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."Norm MacDonald on Michael Jordan
"It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling."Norm MacDonald on Mark Twain
"Golf is a good walk spoiled."Norm MacDonald on Mark Twain
"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."Norm MacDonald on Hunter S. Thompson
"Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after."Norm MacDonald on Henry David Thoreau
"It got very tedious saying the same jokes in the same way with the same attitude."
"Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny."
"I sort of try to write everything for me. I'm a huge sports fan but have no interest in minutiae. I don't remember who won Super Bowls five years ago or listen to sports talk radio. I'm trying to make sure the jokes are self-contained so they're accessible to everyone."