"I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."Norman Wisdom on Lana Turner
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."Norman Wisdom on Ron White
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."Norman Wisdom on Bill Cosby
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."Norman Wisdom on Jim Carrey
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."Norman Wisdom on Elbert Hubbard
"My comedy is for children from three to 93. You do need a slightly childish sense of humour and if you haven't got that, it's very sad."