"Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny - Did you ever try buying then without money?"
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."Ogden Nash on Lana Turner
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."Ogden Nash on Ron White
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."Ogden Nash on Bill Cosby
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."Ogden Nash on Jim Carrey
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."Ogden Nash on Elbert Hubbard
"Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you."
"Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else."
"A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold."
"Happiness is having a scratch for every itch."
"There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all."