"The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling."
"A man who won't die for something is not fit to live."Paula Poundstone on Martin Luther King, Jr.
"To be idle is a short road to death and to be diligent is a way of life foolish people are idle, wise people are diligent."Paula Poundstone on Buddha
"The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead."Paula Poundstone on Albert Einstein
"The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time."Paula Poundstone on Mark Twain
"Death is no more than passing from one room into another. But there's a difference for me, you know. Because in that other room I shall be able to see."Paula Poundstone on Helen Keller
"I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name."
"I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings."
"I have a very silly sense of humor. I've never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with toilet paper stuck on the bottom of their shoe."
"I used to watch 'The Waltons' and sob because my family was nothing like that. We had a cruel sense of humor in my family."
"My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'"