"Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."Quentin Crisp on Lana Turner
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."Quentin Crisp on Ron White
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."Quentin Crisp on Bill Cosby
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."Quentin Crisp on Jim Carrey
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."Quentin Crisp on Elbert Hubbard
"For an introvert his environment is himself and can never be subject to startling or unforeseen change."
"Manners are love in a cool climate."
"If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style."
"It is not the simple statement of facts that ushers in freedom it is the constant repetition of them that has this liberating effect. Tolerance is the result not of enlightenment, but of boredom."
"When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?"