"I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again."
"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect."Rita Rudner on Mark Twain
"The hardest thing to understand in the world is the income tax."Rita Rudner on Albert Einstein
"There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure."Rita Rudner on Colin Powell
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all."Rita Rudner on Dale Carnegie
"If there is anything that a man can do well, I say let him do it. Give him a chance."Rita Rudner on Abraham Lincoln
"My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head."
"To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'"
"My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to."
"When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always."
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."