"My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to."
"Save a boyfriend for a rainy day - and another, in case it doesn't rain."Rita Rudner on Mae West
"Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things."Rita Rudner on Keanu Reeves
"I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that."Rita Rudner on Mitch Hedberg
"You can't stop loving or wanting to love because when its right it's the best thing in the world. When you're in a relationship and its good, even if nothing else in your life is right, you feel like your whole world is complete."Rita Rudner on Keith Sweat
"Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others."Rita Rudner on Wayne Dyer
"My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head."
"I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again."
"To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'"
"When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always."
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."