"Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be."
"An individual who breaks a law that conscience tells him is unjust, and who willingly accepts the penalty of imprisonment in order to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the highest respect for the law."Rita Rudner on Martin Luther King, Jr.
"Everyone should be respected as an individual, but no one idolized."Rita Rudner on Albert Einstein
"Let every man be respected as an individual and no man idolized."Rita Rudner on Albert Einstein
"Be peaceful, be courteous, obey the law, respect everyone but if someone puts his hand on you, send him to the cemetery."Rita Rudner on Malcolm X
"If once you forfeit the confidence of your fellow-citizens, you can never regain their respect and esteem."Rita Rudner on Abraham Lincoln
"My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head."
"I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again."
"To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'"
"My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to."
"When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always."