"There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better."
"A joke is a very serious thing."Rita Rudner on Winston Churchill
"Humor is mankind's greatest blessing."Rita Rudner on Mark Twain
"Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing."Rita Rudner on William James
"If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide."Rita Rudner on Mahatma Gandhi
"A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road."Rita Rudner on Henry Ward Beecher
"My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head."
"I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again."
"To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'"
"My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to."
"When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always."