"Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty... mine's putting in an express lane."
"A man who won't die for something is not fit to live."Ron White on Martin Luther King, Jr.
"To be idle is a short road to death and to be diligent is a way of life foolish people are idle, wise people are diligent."Ron White on Buddha
"The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead."Ron White on Albert Einstein
"The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time."Ron White on Mark Twain
"Death is no more than passing from one room into another. But there's a difference for me, you know. Because in that other room I shall be able to see."Ron White on Helen Keller
"When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range."
"There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong."
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."
"The next time you have a thought... let it go."
"I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that's all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers."