"You know how old I am? I'm so old, I remember when Letterman used to be funny and it was presidents who were serious. That's how old I am."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."Rush Limbaugh on Lana Turner
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."Rush Limbaugh on Ron White
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."Rush Limbaugh on Bill Cosby
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."Rush Limbaugh on Jim Carrey
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."Rush Limbaugh on Elbert Hubbard
"That's what liberalism is all about, is promoting incompetence on the basis it's fair, because people would be the best if they weren't discriminated against."
"For the last five years, we have been presented with the idea that Barack Obama is superhuman. Barack Obama is unlike any of us or anyone else. And he isn't. In fact, he's much less achieved and much less accomplished than most who have gotten half as far as he has, and I think maybe what we saw was the best."
"There is one other business where the customer is always wrong and that's the media."
"The future is not Big Government. Self-serving politicians. Powerful bureaucrats. This has been tried, tested throughout history. The result has always been disaster. President Obama, your agenda is not new. It's not change, and it's not hope."
"Folks, the most insidious part of this whole health care scheme is that all of these vast medical expenditures will become nothing more than government budget items. We individuals will no longer exist. The relationship between a government and citizen will change forever."