"When they searched my car, they said that they found a gasoline canister and I think duct tape. Who wouldn't have a gasoline canister on them when driving 3,000 miles across country?"
"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 MPG."Sherman Austin on Bill Gates
"There was a time in my life when I thought I had everything - millions of dollars, mansions, cars, nice clothes, beautiful women, and every other materialistic thing you can imagine. Now I struggle for peace."Sherman Austin on Richard Pryor
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."Sherman Austin on Erma Bombeck
"I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone."Sherman Austin on Steven Wright
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."Sherman Austin on Steven Wright
"They went back there, looked at all the computers, asked me to come in and tell them what all the computers were for specifically so they knew how to dismantle the network I had been running."
"When they were done downloading all the information off each hard drive, they took all the computers, all the literature, and loaded everything into a big white truck and left."