"And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected."
"Sir, my concern is not whether God is on our side my greatest concern is to be on God's side, for God is always right."Spike Milligan on Abraham Lincoln
"We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature - trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence... We need silence to be able to touch souls."Spike Milligan on Mother Teresa
"When the solution is simple, God is answering."Spike Milligan on Albert Einstein
"While I know myself as a creation of God, I am also obligated to realize and remember that everyone else and everything else are also God's creation."Spike Milligan on Maya Angelou
"Never trust anyone completely but God. Love people, but put your full trust only in God."Spike Milligan on Lawrence Welk
"A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree."
"My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic."
"How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven."
"I can speak Esperanto like a native."
"Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery."