"It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't."
"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."Spike Milligan on Mignon McLaughlin
"By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."Spike Milligan on Socrates
"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages."Spike Milligan on Friedrich Nietzsche
"How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being."Spike Milligan on Oscar Wilde
"Don't marry the person you think you can live with marry only the individual you think you can't live without."Spike Milligan on James C. Dobson
"A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree."
"My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic."
"How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven."
"I can speak Esperanto like a native."
"And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected."