"Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery."
"Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open."Spike Milligan on John Barrymore
"Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions."Spike Milligan on Dalai Lama
"Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."Spike Milligan on Abraham Lincoln
"I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition."Spike Milligan on Martha Washington
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."Spike Milligan on Mahatma Gandhi
"A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree."
"My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic."
"How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven."
"I can speak Esperanto like a native."
"And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected."