"Life would be tragic if it weren't funny."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."Stephen Hawking on Lana Turner
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."Stephen Hawking on Ron White
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."Stephen Hawking on Bill Cosby
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."Stephen Hawking on Jim Carrey
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."Stephen Hawking on Elbert Hubbard
"The radiation left over from the Big Bang is the same as that in your microwave oven but very much less powerful. It would heat your pizza only to minus 271.3*C - not much good for defrosting the pizza, let alone cooking it."
"Most sets of values would give rise to universes that, although they might be very beautiful, would contain no one able to wonder at that beauty."
"I have noticed even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road."
"Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change."
"In Britain, like most of the developed world, stem-cell research is regarded as a great opportunity. America will be left behind if it doesn't change policy."