"I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything."
"All bad poetry springs from genuine feeling."Steven Wright on Oscar Wilde
"A poet can survive everything but a misprint."Steven Wright on Oscar Wilde
"Poetry is not a turning loose of emotion, but an escape from emotion it is not the expression of personality, but an escape from personality. But, of course, only those who have personality and emotions know what it means to want to escape from these things."Steven Wright on T. S. Eliot
"Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words."Steven Wright on Robert Frost
"A poem begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness."Steven Wright on Robert Frost
"How young can you die of old age?"
"I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'"
"For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out."
"I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone."
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."