"What's funny is that the idea of popularity - even the use of the word 'popular' - is something that had been mostly absent from my life since junior high. In fact, the hallmark of life after junior high seemed to be the shedding of popularity as a central concern."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."Susan Orlean on Lana Turner
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."Susan Orlean on Ron White
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."Susan Orlean on Bill Cosby
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."Susan Orlean on Jim Carrey
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."Susan Orlean on Elbert Hubbard
"I once had a boyfriend who couldn't write unless he was wearing a necktie and a dress shirt, which I thought was really weird, because this was a long time ago, and no one I knew ever wore dress shirts, let alone neckties it was like he was a grown-up reenacter or something."
"One of my favorite activities as a teen-ager was to watch television over the phone with my best friend."
"My ace in the hole as a human being used to be my capacity for remembering birthdays. I worked at it. Whenever I made a new friend, I made a point of finding out his or her birthday early on, and I would record it in my Filofax calendar."
"I want a chainsaw very badly, because I think cutting down a tree would be unbelievably satisfying. I have asked for a chainsaw for my birthday, but I think I'll probably be given jewelry instead."
"I want to let my friend Buster know that I would like to have dinner with him tonight. Does Buster work at home? Then how likely is he to have his cell phone on? Is he one of those people who only turns on his cell when he's in his car? I hate that."