"On the stage you're there, it's live. There's a beginning, a middle, an end. When something is funny you hear it right away."
"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."Theodore Bikel on Lana Turner
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."Theodore Bikel on Ron White
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."Theodore Bikel on Bill Cosby
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."Theodore Bikel on Jim Carrey
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."Theodore Bikel on Elbert Hubbard
"We Jews have a special attachment to the Book. The study of page after page in tomes yellowing with age was obligatory."
"Having come to live in this age is as though one were to have entered another country. Learn its language or risk being left out."
"No heirloom of humankind captures the past as do art and language."
"In my world, history comes down to language and art. No one cares much about what battles were fought, who won them and who lost them - unless there is a painting, a play, a song or a poem that speaks of the event."
"I tried for a while to be an agricultural worker and was hopelessly bored. To me it was meaningless. I would stand around in heaps of manure and sings about the beauty of the work I wasn't doing."