"As a kid I was short and only weighed 95 pounds. And though I was active in a lot of Sports and got along with most of the guys, I think I used comedy as a defense mechanism. You know making someone laugh is a much better way to solve a problem than by using your fists."
"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."Tim Conway on Michael Jordan
"It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling."Tim Conway on Mark Twain
"Golf is a good walk spoiled."Tim Conway on Mark Twain
"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."Tim Conway on Hunter S. Thompson
"Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after."Tim Conway on Henry David Thoreau