"There are people who own cars and are getting free cell phones. A car helps one find a job, too. Where do you draw the line?"
"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 MPG."Timothy Griffin on Bill Gates
"There was a time in my life when I thought I had everything - millions of dollars, mansions, cars, nice clothes, beautiful women, and every other materialistic thing you can imagine. Now I struggle for peace."Timothy Griffin on Richard Pryor
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."Timothy Griffin on Erma Bombeck
"I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone."Timothy Griffin on Steven Wright
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."Timothy Griffin on Steven Wright
"Many of us believe that we need health care reform. That being said - Americans felt like they weren't being listened to. There were a lot of people across the political spectrum who said we don't want a one-size-fits-all healthcare plan."
"I had someone call me this morning telling me they had somebody who would only work a certain number of hours a week because if they worked too many hours a week then they couldn't get their government assistance. And that person has multiple cell phones, and gets them new every month with new minutes."