"The technology used to detect if vehicles are carrying radioactive material is so sensitive it can tell if a person recently received radiation as part of a medical procedure."
"I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course."Timothy Murphy on Groucho Marx
"A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running."Timothy Murphy on Groucho Marx
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."Timothy Murphy on Erma Bombeck
"They certainly give very strange names to diseases."Timothy Murphy on Plato
"Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it."Timothy Murphy on Erma Bombeck
"While the recent addition of the National Guard providing a support role manning computers and cameras has allowed more Border Patrol agents to work the field, more agents are still needed."
"Illegal immigration is crisis for our country. It is an open door for drugs, criminals, and potential terrorists to enter our country. It is straining our economy, adding costs to our judicial, healthcare, and education systems."
"Each State has its own health insurance mandates, and some of them are good, but there are about 1,800 of them all across the Nation, including provisions for acupuncturists, massage therapists, and hair replacements."
"Instead, I think over the years we have cut the strength of marriage and relationships by the law and weakened the institution. We have tried to deal with relationships with no-fault divorce, with child custody, with so many other avenues and it has not helped."
"The current medical records system is this: Room after room after room in a hospital filled with paper files."