"I love chicken. I would eat chicken fingers on Thanksgiving if it were socially acceptable."
"Be thankful for what you have you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough."Todd Barry on Oprah Winfrey
"I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land."Todd Barry on Jon Stewart
"The thankful receiver bears a plentiful harvest."Todd Barry on William Blake
"Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received. Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling. Thanksgiving is the following of that impulse."Todd Barry on Henry Van Dyke
"Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence."Todd Barry on Erma Bombeck
"I like pens. My writing is so amazing there's never a need to erase."
"It's cool to go to a place that has posters up and it's one night only. It feels more special."
"I'm particularly proud of my reluctance to share my dreams with anyone."
"I am the the type to have a personal experience with a celebrity, but I'm too classy to bring that up."
"I would call it a comedy variety show. We have some people just doing straight standup. We usually try to have one musical act of sort. So its just people being funny in different ways, not just sketch, not just standup, not just characters, all of those things."