"I regret to this day that I never went to college. I feel I should have been a doctor."
"I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course."Ty Cobb on Groucho Marx
"A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running."Ty Cobb on Groucho Marx
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."Ty Cobb on Erma Bombeck
"They certainly give very strange names to diseases."Ty Cobb on Plato
"Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it."Ty Cobb on Erma Bombeck
"Don't come home a failure."
"Every great batter works on the theory that the pitcher is more afraid of him than he is of the pitcher."