"All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women."
"A woman is like a tea bag - you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water."W. C. Fields on Eleanor Roosevelt
"I don't know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot."W. C. Fields on Marilyn Monroe
"Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent."W. C. Fields on Friedrich Nietzsche
"The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles."W. C. Fields on Ralph Waldo Emerson
"As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot."W. C. Fields on John Lennon
"The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep."
"Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch."
"When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty."
"Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?"
"I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally."