"Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life."
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."W. C. Fields on Robert Frost
"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."W. C. Fields on Buddha
"Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too."W. C. Fields on Will Smith
"Life is a song - sing it. Life is a game - play it. Life is a challenge - meet it. Life is a dream - realize it. Life is a sacrifice - offer it. Life is love - enjoy it."W. C. Fields on Sai Baba
"A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing."W. C. Fields on George Bernard Shaw
"The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep."
"Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch."
"When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty."
"Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?"
"I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally."