"Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch."
"Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out."W. C. Fields on John Wooden
"Experience hath shewn, that even under the best forms of government those entrusted with power have, in time, and by slow operations, perverted it into tyranny."W. C. Fields on Thomas Jefferson
"In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing."W. C. Fields on Theodore Roosevelt
"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting."W. C. Fields on e. e. cummings
"In the practice of tolerance, one's enemy is the best teacher."W. C. Fields on Dalai Lama
"The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep."
"When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty."
"Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?"
"I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally."
"Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink."